Death. And what happens next?

Sunday morning in bed with a pot of tea and the newspapers. Puppies curled up together on the manky blanky out on the couch. My mind churns, stimulated by the stream of newspaper articles, short and long.

This one keeps coming back to me. It's about a mum with kids aged in her mid thirties and the husband dies leaving her wallowing without direction.

She says they just didn't accept he could die, so they didn't talk about what would happen if he did. Afterwards she tore the house apart looking for the letter, directions, wishes for their kids - anything. And he hadn't done it.

This theme has bothered me forever - the guy who dies and leaves chaos and misery in his wake. The guy who lives dangerously, acknowledges his addiction / habits / choices and doesn't change anything. The 'heart attack waiting to happen', as one girl told me this week about her lover who eats a tub of ice cream and nips out for a fag - but never sees a doctor.

On the other end of the rope is the hypochondriac, a label I applied to my deceased dad. He passed away at his use by date, but his endless health warnings drove me nuts. Like, burned toast gives you cancer. I think life itself is dangerous, and it is always terminal for all of us.

None of my wives had a Will when we married but they all did a week later. As soon as I married Caroline in 1980 I bought term life insurance, and I've had a policy ever since. Not one of the annuity products that the drippy AMP guy tried to sell you at your Uncle's recommendation. Are you old enough to remember the pitch for these? 'A weekly contribution and then when you are at retirement age you get ten million peso's'.

These days we have superannuation. Unless we are self employed or a muso, in which case we have either the old age pension or selling weed to look forward to.

Do me a favour. Write a fucking will! I've put a template at the bottom. I'm not a lawyer, but you don't need one to write a will. Keep it simple!

Back to the story. How can someone who is suffering a potentially life threatening illness, not Have The Discussion? Jody Thomson says if she went through it again, she'd look for someone to help instigate the discussion with her husband. It seems if you read between the lines that she probably did want to discuss the possibility with him, but maybe his determination to survive blinded her.

Should I be hit my a meteor, or be shot in a dark alley, there's a set of instructions, a will, and a life insurance policy in my office drawer. There is always one, and there always will be, Because I'm not selfish enough to check out and leave my descendants suffering more pain than they deserve.

Now let's talk about suicide. No, not now. Another time.

LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF

you
[Name of Testator]

I, [Name of Testator], a resident of NSW, being of sound and disposing mind and memory and over the age of eighteen (18) years, and not being actuated by any duress, menace, fraud, mistake, or undue influence, do hereby make, publish and declare the following to be my Last Will and Testament, revoking all previous will and codicils made by me.

I.  MARRIAGE AND CHILDREN

I declare that I am married to / or partner with (delete as applicable and insert name of spouse/partner here) and all references in this Will to my husband (change through will to reflect circumstances) are references to him.

I have the following children:

Name. Date of birth.

II.  EXECUTOR:  I appoint my spouse as Executor of my Last Will and Testament. If my spouse is unable or unwilling to serve, then I appoint the Public Trustee (NSW)  as alternate Executor.

My Executor shall be authorized to carry out all provisions of this Will and pay my just debts, obligations and funeral expenses, except mortgage notes secured by real estate, as soon as practical.

III.  SIMULTANEOUS DEATH OF SPOUSE:  If my husband shall die simultaneously with me, I direct that I shall be deemed to have survived my husband, and that the provisions of my Will shall be construed on such presumption.

IV.  SIMULTANEOUS DEATH OF BENEFICIARY:  If any beneficiary of this Will, other than my husband, shall die within 30 days of my death or prior to the distribution of my estate, I hereby declare that I shall be deemed to have survived such person.

V.  BEQUESTS:

I will give the persons named below, if he or she survives me, the Property described below:

VI.   ALL REMAINING PROPERTY; RESIDUARY CLAUSE:  I give, devise, and bequeath all of the rest, residue, and remainder of my estate, of whatever kind and character, and wherever located, to my children per share, but if any child predeceases me, then his or her share will pass, per share, to his or her lineal descendants, natural or adopted, if any, who survive me; but if there are none, I direct that the share of any child of mine who shall have died leaving no issue shall be divided among my surviving children in equal shares.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I, [Testator], hereby set my hand to this last Will, on each page of which I have placed my initials, on this

________ day of ---- 20-- at NSW.



_______________________________________ [Signature]

Name

Address

WITNESSES

The foregoing instrument, consisting of x  pages, including this page, was signed in our presence by (Name of Testator)

______________________________________ [Signature of Witness #1]

______________________________________ [Printed name of Witness #1]

______________________________________ [Address of Witness #1]

______________________________________



______________________________________ [Signature of Witness #2]

______________________________________ [Printed name of Witness #2]

______________________________________ [Address of Witness #2]

______________________________________